Ntimugakinishe ibanga ryo “kwabirana”

Hari abantu batwarwa n’amaronko, bakandikanwa mu biro bijejwe inzandiko ndangamuntu, kandi bazi neza ko batazobana, nyabuna ari amayeri canke inyungu zinyegeje inyuma y’ayo masezerano. Amayeri arimwo kwubahuka cane, ashobora no kugira ingaruka.

“Uwo mukobwa naho yigira uwitonda, harya  yarahukanye. Umusoda ari hano yaramuhenze asiga baraganye imbere y’amategeko, kugira yigire muri Somariya none yabaye akigaruka aca aramuheba, baja kwahukana bisunze amategeko nyene.”

Ivyo navyumvanye abanyeshure bariko bavuga umukobwa arenganye, tukiri muri kaminuza y’Uburundi mu mwaka w’2009. Vyari bibishe kwumva. Ukuntu umuntu yitwa ko yahukanye kandi atigeze abana n’umugabo. Uwo mukobwa yari yibera mu bigo vya kaminuza ku Mutanga, asavye indaro. Ariko ukumva ngo ni umugore imbere y’amategeko.

Uko imyaka yagiye iragenda, nagiye ndumva ko hari abandi bakinisha ibanga ryo kwubakana mu mayeri, bishakira ico babishikanako gusa. Mu nyuma hoho numva ngo abari mu bihugu vyo hanze bashaka kujana abantu b’incuti zabo canke abagenzi, baraza bakaragana, amaze kumusangayo, bagaca bahukana. 

Gukinisha ibanga

“Kuva ubu murabaye umugore n’umugabo.” Iryo jambo, iyo rivuzwe n’uwuhagarirariye Reta, yambaye ibiranga igihugu, rica rija mu ngiro. Ivyo birashimangirwa n’umuhinga mu vy’imbagarabwenge w’Umwongereza yitwa John Langshaw Austin, mu gitabo yise “How to do things with words” (Uko ijambo rirema ico rivuze Ndlr).

Avuga ko ijambo rishikirijwe rica rirangura ico rivuze. Baraganye biba bibaye, naho yoja mu gihugu ca hehe, agumana ka karanga k’uwubatse. 

Abo baja “kuragana” bifitiye izindi ntumbero, ku bwanje baba bariko barakinisha ibanga. Sintahura ukuntu umuntu agira amayeri nk’ayo, bakiherera, bakabigira abavyeyi n’incuti batazi na kimwe. 

Umusi yagiye kwubaka vy’ukuri, abavyeyi bakoranye, bakaja bumva uwuhagarariye Reta avuze izina ry’uno canke uwundi ngo : “yarahukanye”, (kuko babisoma mu gitabu c’aho yasinye ko yahukanye). Ibaze namwe uko abavyeyi baheza bakifata. Kuri bamwe, umwana wabo yabiriwe canke yabiriye uwahukanye. Abandi na bo baramaramara kuko batigeze babona umwana wabo yubaka urwiwe.

Twubahe ibanga

Ababegito baciye umugani ngo : “utabeshe ntusumira umwana”, kandi ngo “indahiro mbi ntirwaza mu nda”. None vy’ukuri iyo ni yo ngendo twofata mu buzima bwacu ? 

Dukwiye kwibuka ko ibanga ribangirwa ingata, kandi ridatekerwa mu vyatsi, nk’uko ridahabwa icasame. Aba kera bo bavuga ko ibanga riremereye, urimenye rikumena inda.

Ayo majambo arakaze cane, ku buryo atawoja kugira uruyeri muri ibi na biriya. Uhenze umusore canke inkumi muri ubwo buryo, pfuma wiyumvira abavyeyi biwe n’abawe. Kira noneho, ushobora kumukwegera uruvugo, ukamubuza gusubira kugira ubugeni kazoza kiwe ukaba ugafutanije gutyo.