Ibanga ry’abubatse: “umugabo wanje ntaco agishoboye; ngire nte?”

Ibanga ry’abubatse hagati y’abashinze umuryango ni “karahara mu ruganda, ntibacura”. Alice*, umukenyezi w’imyaka 29, yabonye umugabo wiwe agira isanganya, afatwa n’ubumuga, ntiyaba agishobora kurangura amabanga y’abubatse. Ubu rero ngo ivy’urugo biramunaniye. 

Etienne* twabanye dukundana, ntawigeze ahemukira uwundi, mu gihe tumaranye. Tumaze imyaka itari mike twubakanye, dufitaniye n’ abana babiri.  Kuva agize isanganya akamererwa nabi mu ruti rw’umugongo, ntagishobora kurangura amabanga y’abubatse. 

Yaba we canke jewe, kwakira ivyamubayeko vyaratugoye cane. Naramurwaje, ndamuremesha, ndamwumvisha ko ivyashitse ari ukuvyakira, tukabandanya kurera abana Imana yaduhaye, tukabashikana mu bigero, ariko ntiyavyumva.

 Ariko ntababesha, na jewe vyari ivyo nivugisha gusa; ahandi ho, nari mbabaye. Ndi bugire gute?

Ibigeragezo

Kuva iryo bara rimushikira, sinigeze niyumvira kuryamana n’uwundi mugabo, kuko nabona ko noba mpemutse. Narizera ko nzovyihanganira, kuko na we vyamushikiye atavyipfuza.  Bitayeko, ndi umukirisu, ndasenga kandi isezerano namugiriye ryo kuguma ndamukunda no kutazomuhemukira, haba mu mahirwe canke mu marushwa, sinaryibagiye. 

Ariko rero, kwihangana kugira igihe, ubu narambiwe. Biratanguye kunshikira nkarengerwa, ngatwarwa n’ivyiyumviro nokwita bibi, vyo kwumva nkumbuye kubonana n’umugabo. Yamara, uwo mfise mu nzu ntaco ashoboye kubimfashamwo.  Ikibabaje, singira uwo ndabitura, kuko uwo notumbera wese mbona ko atontahura, canke akanyararaza. Sinari nzi ko umukenyezi, ivyo vyomubera ikigeragezo kugeza aho bimunanira kuvyikuramwo burundu. 

Umwanya umwe mbona ntoba mpemutse kuko, naho mu kuragana tuvuga kuriya, ntituba twiyumviriye ivy’ubumuga bw’umwe mu bubakanye. 

Haraza n’ibindi vyiyumviro vyo kwiremesha muri uwo mugambi mbona ko ari mubi. Hari aho nibwira nti: mbega ibi ndiko ndacamwo nk’umukenyezi iyo bishikira jewe, ntakibishoboye, wewe yari kwihangana ? 

Biragoye, ariko…

Umuhinga mu bijanye n’ubuzima ndorabitsina  Catherine Solano avuga ko ibikorwa, imyimenyerezo ngororamubiri, kwitwararika abana n’ibindi bifasha. Avuga ko ivyo ata we vyotera kwihebura. Akagira ati : “Kubaho utagira imibonano mpuzabitsina si amananiza. Bikuremereye, bikakuraza ishinga, worondera ikintu kigutuma wiyumvira ibindi.”

Urubuga rwa Passeport santé rurabitomora neza ruti : “Kugira ngo umuntu agire ubuzima bwiza, kandi adashobora kugira imibonano mpuzabitsina, birakenewe ko agira imigenderanire myiza n’abagenzi beza badahemana, akanonora imitsi, kuko bituma umubiri wiwe umererwa neza. Kuronka akanya ko kuyaga n’abiwe mu muryango bahimbawe, bakayaga bezwe n’agatima… ivyo bituma umuntu amererwa neza ku mutima no ku mubiri. ”

Solano arangiza asaba ko uwuri mu mayira abiri (nk’uko kwa Alice), akabura ico akora n’ico areka, yoca yitura abahinga mu vy’inyifato canke mu vy’ubuzima ndorabitsina, bakamufasha.

* : amazina yahinduwe