Umugeni mushasha amaze kwabirwa, umubano wiwe na inabukwe hari aho uca utangura gutosekara. Haba mu bisagara canke mu ntara zo hagati mu gihugu, mu miryango ikenye canke mu bifise, ni co kimwe. None ingorane ihagaze he? Umuntu yovyirinda gute ? Egide Nikiza yaraganiriye na bamwe mu bo vyega cane.
Aho hambere hahise, umugeni ntiyashoka ahabwa inkono. Be n’umugabo wiwe, bamara igihe bagaburirwa na nyina w’umuhungu, ari we inabukwe. Imvo nyamukuru ngo kwari ukumurindiriza umwimbu, ni mu mico y’ikirundi. Ico kiringo rero carashobora kumara umwanya utari muto, umwaka canke urenga.
Kubwa Mukangarambe Roza, umukamakare w’imyaka 58 aba muri komine Bugabira y’intara ya Kirundo, ngo uwo muco waratuma ba inabukwe bagira ijunja ku rugo rushasha; “ukuba umugore mushasha atashobora kugaburira umugabo wiwe rero, vyaraheza bigatera umubano mubi hagati yiwe na inabukwe.”
Buzoya Jorojeta w’imyaka 65 akomoka muri komine Mabanda, intara ya Makamba, arabishimangira: “ugushikirizwa inkono, vyaboneka nk’ikigaragaza ko umugore mushasha yiganzuye inabukwe. Maze urwanko rugahera aho.”
Umwitwarariko umuhungu afitiye nyina
Ubu rero ibintu vyarahindutse. Umukazana ntakigaburirwa na inabukwe, kandi abasore si bose bagishima kujana abagore babo kuba kw’itongo ngo babane na ba inabukwe.
Ariko rero, ivyo ntivyatumye wa mubano hagati y’umukazana na inabukwe uca uba mwiza. Kuki ?
Irakoze Mireye, umunarugo w’imyaka 35 aba mu gisagara ca Bujumbura, ngo “imvo nyamukuru ni ukuntu ba inabukwe bipfuza ko abahungu babo bobandanya babitayeho nk’uko bahora bobikora imbere y’uko barongora.” Uno ngo biratangaje cane. Ata kurya umunwa ati : “tumaze kwubakana, nkaba umugore wiwe bwite, mba ndamufitiye akamaro gusumba nyina, vyumvikana ko tutoshirwa ku rugero rumwe. Ngo angurire igitenge canke ansumire, hama ace agirira uko nyene nyina wiwe? Oya! Aho aba ahindutse umukeba wanje nta bindi.”
Nayo Mariya (izina ryahinduwe) wo mu Kinindo, we ayica umurya : “ aha ndahiriwe kuba narongowe n’umusore atagifise nyina. Imana yaramfashije mu kunkingira umubano mubi na mabukwe!”
Inabukwe n’umuhungu wiwe, ni bo bene amakosha
Butoyi Diyodone, umwigisha muri kaminuza y’Uburundi mu gisata c’indimi n’amayagwa nyafrika, aratandukanya ivyo muri kino gihe n’ivy’aho hambere hahise. Agira ati: “kera, uwo mubano mubi wava ku kiganzo ka ba inabukwe. Bashaka kwereka abakazana babo ko urugo barusanzemwo umuntu. Abakazana nabo bati twararushitsemwo, maze bakihagararako.” Ngo abaca bavuga ko vyoba vyari nk’umugenzo, babikura ku kuntu vyari bigwiriye mu miryango.
“Muri kino gihe naho, kumbure vyoba biva ku kuntu abavyeyi benshi usanga babeshejweho n’abana babo, ivyo bigatera umwikomo abakazana”, ni ko uwo mwigisha avyiyumvira.
Yamara rero ukwubaka ni intambwe ikomeye kandi igoye mubuzima. Na cane cane ubu, kuko abahungu basigaye ari ba nyamwigendako. Baribako muri vyose. Kubw’ivyo rero, abavyeyi babo ntibakwiye kwivanga mu mubano w’umuhungu wabo n’umugore wiwe. Nayo abasore bacubaka, nobahanura kwitaho ingo zabo gusumba iza ba se. Kuko uyo mukenyezi mushasha aba afise ijambo rikomeye mu rugo rwiwe. Nayo ahandi, ni ngombwa ngo ico kibazo gice mu kiyago hagati y’abubakanye, ku neza y’ubuzima bw’urugo rushasha.
umwabirwa aba ashaka ko umugabo afasha w gusa ntiyiyumvire uwamuvyay
Ukwinubana hagati y’umukazana na inabukwe vyamyeho kuva na kera na bugingo n’ubu. Ibituma ni vyinshi nkuko babivuze. Ariko rero hariho imiryango myinshi usanga umukazana na inabukwe babanye neza vy’akarorero. Kubwanje umubano utosekazwa nuko yaba inabukwe yaba umukazana atanumwe aba azi neza uwariwe imbere y’uwundi.
Umuvyeyi yakwibarukiye umushingantahe aba ari umuvyeyi wawe, kumwitaho n’ivyigiciro. Ntakumwinuba ngo yoba ahindutse mukeba canke ibindi, oya namba kuko ashobora kugufasha mubintu vyinshi cane kuko iyo umwigeme avuye iwabo akaja kwubaka umuvyeyi aba asigaranye amuhora hafi ni inabukwe. Umuvyeyi rero ni ukumufata nkumuvyeyi ukagerageza kugira imigenderanire myiza nawe.
Nico kimwe no kuri inabukwe burya umukazana aba ari umwana wawe, ubwirizwa rero kumufata nkumwana wawe, ukamukorera ivyo umuvyeyi akorera umwana wiwe. Iyo uhaye uruhusha canke wemeye ko umuhungu wawe ashinga urugo nukumenya ko hari ibintu bigabanuka bivanye nuko yahora agufata, ntaba agutaye aragufasha mubintu vyankenerwa mugabo ntukwiye kumugumya nk’umuhoro mukwaha kuko nawe aba atanguye urugo rushasha abwirizwa gukorera kugira nawe aze agire amahirwe yo kugera kuntambwe ugezeko yo kuronka abakazana.
Aha norangiza mvuga nti haba kumukazana haba kuri inabukwe bakwiye kwubahana bagafatana munda nkabagize umuryango umwe. Biroroshe cane kubana na inabukwe mumahoro kuko vyose « ni mumutwe ».