article comment count is: 0

I do not want flowers

To my surprise, a friend of mine asks for the price of flowers ! Oh sorry, I should paint the background. So, we are wrapped in a thick fog in an outdoor bar at Bugarama waiting for VWs and « je mafou » (« Je m’en fous » is a nickname that has been given to big trucks as far as I can remember). By the way I have no idea why Burundians assign cars’ names to some stick meats (brochettes), it is a whole phenomenon, a funny one actually. We even have « akabenz » (pork ribs), very famous now. Either way back to the flowers, I am confused by his request. I mean I am buying peas and spinach, others are buying onions and other fresh food but here was this man asking for flowers !

« Flowers? Here? Why? She likes them that much? » I ask.

Another friend, surprised, asks me: « Which girl does not like flowers? » Uuuuh, me! Not that I do not like flowers, I rather do not understand that gift (I told him I would rather receive isombe-a delight). They are expensive and it’s just sending me to the dumpster since they wither in a matter of seconds (yeah I am being dramatic but not too far from the truth though). I remember on my high school graduation day I had forbidden my mum from buying me flowers. She said she was embarrassed because she was the only parent without a bouquet to offer to her child. The only thing I cared about was that no money was wasted on such a futility.

My curiosity knocked

But I wanted to know why some like receiving flowers. Like I genuinely wanted to understand. So, I posted on my whatsapp status and of course most of the guys’ comments were co-asking. But there was an answer, an angle a friend of mine gave that had never crossed my mind (it blew it and made me understand). He said (as someone who doesn’t like receiving flowers): “The advantage of flowers is they do not convey anything other than the feelings of the giver. The problem with a material gift is its utility that might divert you from considering, in the first place, the expression of love and appreciation of the giver. Plus, they wither so you have to express your love often for it is never enough”. I literally cannot add on to that (take some time to digest it). 

14.02 or those « make it special » moments

Valentine ’s Day is coming and the expectation of some is getting higher and higher while others are stressing more and more (paradox, I mean there is a way to simplify things but nope! The human kind likes it hard) because of the gift giving and the going out (all in “impress mode”) that have to happen. Beyond this « lover’s day », there is everyday life where the expression of love is never too much from a loved one. We all need (want) it. Personally (sure there are many on board), I highly appreciate intentionality: study your peeps. There are things they absolutely love and others they need depending on their current situation. Intentionality whispers in a powerful action: “I took time to observe you to know what would make your soul smile.” Try it this time…


Est-ce que vous avez trouvé cet article utile?

Partagez-nous votre opinion